They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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