I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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