why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
