We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
