i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
