that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
