someone threw a dead crab at me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
