nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
you made out with another girl for some wings
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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