Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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