I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
try to milk me bitch
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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