Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
