he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
