I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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