Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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