i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
