i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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