You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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