how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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