Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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