Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
