The maid of honor just puked.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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