we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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