Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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