guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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