I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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