This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
