I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
do nipples grow back?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
