Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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