mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
