Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
