I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
