i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
