So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
