Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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