I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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