she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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