This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
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Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize