if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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