i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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