So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
