Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
