I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
