I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
