...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
