nut hugger
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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