I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
