A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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