DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
