Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
the liver wants what the liver wants
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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