she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
