Moan for me like Helen Keller
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
