so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize