My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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