Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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