it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
