I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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