the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
nutella sex= disaster
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
