My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
