I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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