Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
