nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
did i walk over a car last night?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I have aggressive nipples.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.