Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  we have officially mastered the walk of shame

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  (857): we have officially mastered the walk of shame http://tfl.nu/pg06
  Replies (11) Good night (3679) Bad night (913)
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  (805): View more from California

  It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"

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  (805): It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!" http://tfl.nu/5h66
  Replies (38) Good night (7445) Bad night (962)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.

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  (703): Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time. http://tfl.nu/wm5x
  Replies (12) Good night (675) Bad night (3933)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick

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  (405): The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick http://tfl.nu/0oxs
  Replies (12) Good night (1148) Bad night (4162)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.

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  (908): I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in. http://tfl.nu/z4b8
  Replies (9) Good night (5562) Bad night (2345)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'

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  (512): Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob' http://tfl.nu/rohh
  Replies (17) Good night (1201) Bad night (2475)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.

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  (774): I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys. http://tfl.nu/c88u
  Replies (2) Good night (3205) Bad night (1574)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand

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  (404): This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand http://tfl.nu/fsqo
  Replies (12) Good night (3186) Bad night (912)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE

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  (203): We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE http://tfl.nu/bmko
  Replies (7) Good night (3901) Bad night (1030)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.

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  (631): Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel. http://tfl.nu/lrsp
  Replies (17) Good night (4520) Bad night (911)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.

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  (440): Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies. http://tfl.nu/iuff
  Replies (14) Good night (2426) Bad night (1952)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

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  (717): Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts. http://tfl.nu/zklc
  Replies (6) Good night (1415) Bad night (795)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him

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  (610): Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him http://tfl.nu/y954
  Replies (2) Good night (1163) Bad night (675)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.

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  (914): So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall. http://tfl.nu/w95m
  Replies (4) Good night (1418) Bad night (568)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?

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  (703): A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall? http://tfl.nu/zs4k
  Replies (6) Good night (808) Bad night (519)

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