Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  bl l w

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.

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  (908): bl l w (201): this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel. http://tfl.nu/4an5
  Replies (63) Good night (8449) Bad night (717)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.

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  (201): you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time. http://tfl.nu/39ft
  Replies (28) Good night (1934) Bad night (3117)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  I feel like half our conversations start this way.

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  (603): GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED (1-603): I feel like half our conversations start this way. http://tfl.nu/9770
  Replies (16) Good night (6053) Bad night (767)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Happy St. Patrick's Day.

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  (502): I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen.... (508): Happy St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/t6ex
  Replies (2) Good night (3216) Bad night (689)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?

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  (954): I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/ptoy
  Replies (39) Good night (5908) Bad night (1074)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.

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  (910): I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive. http://tfl.nu/9t3w
  Replies (13) Good night (4421) Bad night (984)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.

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  (717): Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire. http://tfl.nu/xlxu
  Replies (11) Good night (1053) Bad night (2377)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended

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  (763): After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended http://tfl.nu/x97c
  Replies (10) Good night (1320) Bad night (3776)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!

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  (724): who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?! http://tfl.nu/teth
  Replies (13) Good night (2690) Bad night (1071)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?

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  (312): Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight? http://tfl.nu/82ga
  Replies (3) Good night (1371) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.

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  (815): I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets. http://tfl.nu/choe
  Replies (4) Good night (1410) Bad night (462)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.

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  (443): Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers? (301): Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis. http://tfl.nu/hcxa
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.

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  (605): No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives. http://tfl.nu/8dyn
  Replies (2) Good night (287) Bad night (566)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.

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  (614): This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato. http://tfl.nu/wzg8
  Replies (4) Good night (293) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".

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  (501): While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors". http://tfl.nu/n1au
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (131)

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