Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?

(1-425): View more from Washington

I hate you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs? (1-425): I hate you http://tfl.nu/19l9

Replies (14) Good night (4092) Bad night (605)
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls

(763): View more from Minnesota

is that a poem?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls (763): is that a poem?! http://tfl.nu/h29o

Replies (55) Good night (7617) Bad night (1984)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders http://tfl.nu/1b2g

Replies (21) Good night (4504) Bad night (1223)
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex.. http://tfl.nu/g01t

Replies (17) Good night (5194) Bad night (769)
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn. http://tfl.nu/hrhg

Replies (18) Good night (8499) Bad night (1199)
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place http://tfl.nu/6i8c

Replies (16) Good night (5976) Bad night (980)
Favorite
(810): View more from Michigan

people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(810): people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart. http://tfl.nu/4ahf

Replies (14) Good night (3658) Bad night (887)
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life. http://tfl.nu/wwre

Replies (3) Good night (3170) Bad night (1125)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk http://tfl.nu/c7yo

Replies (6) Good night (2360) Bad night (788)
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj

Replies (6) Good night (2199) Bad night (696)
Favorite
(828): View more from North Carolina

Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(828): Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado http://tfl.nu/of4e

Replies (27) Good night (3657) Bad night (857)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real ! http://tfl.nu/8frh

Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (542)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"? http://tfl.nu/xfwq

Replies (6) Good night (1386) Bad night (648)
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

That shot was terrible

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): That shot was terrible (1-502): You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up http://tfl.nu/89cf

Replies (0) Good night (384) Bad night (700)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do? http://tfl.nu/murk

Replies (7) Good night (172) Bad night (324)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard