i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it