Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.