Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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