remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
