He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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