Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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