Swine flu. Run for my life!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize